The Social Communication Blog

By Linda Boverman

Fixed Mindset

How our Mindsets Prime our Brains–for Better or Worse–Part 2

April 12, 20182 min read

We need to stop saying how smart they are, how talented they are, or even how lazy they are. Dweck’s research has shown that praising abilities lowers a child’s IQ score.

How our Mindsets Prime our Brains

The Growth Mindset empowers us, helps us live with purpose, and leads us to success and fulfillment. And that helps us have a sense of wellbeing and feel the joy of being alive.

To help our children get to that state we need to embody it. Equally important, we need to let our children fail. We need to let them struggle and work hard over extended periods of time. We even need to let them get hurt.

We need to stop saying how smart they are, how talented they are, or even how lazy they are. Dweck’s research has shown that praising abilities lowers a child’s IQ score.

Instead, children need their growth process praised. Dweck demonstrates what it could look like for different kinds of students:

That homework was so long and involved. I really admire the way you concentrated and finished it.”

“Everyone learns in a different way. Let’s keep trying to find the way that works for you.”

“I know school used to be easy for you and you used to feel like the smart kid all the time. But the truth is that you weren’t using your brain to the fullest. I’m really excited about how you’re stretching yourself now and working to learn new things.”

“You read that sentence in the book — you worked so hard to learn how to do that and now you can! Congratulations!”

What helps me is remembering that hard work and making mistakes is the way we learn. It also stretches our brains, expands the Growth Mindset center and builds confidence.

Let’s help our children embody the Growth Mindset by embodying it in ourselves and communicate in a way that helps our children embody it in themselves.

Mindset

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Linda Boverman, M.A., SLP

I am a speech and language therapist, specializing in working with children and adults with social-emotional communication challenges. Sometimes my clients are on the spectrum and other times their social communication simply needs “tweaking”. I see children as young as 5 years old but am often referred students after they have gone through social skills groups and other behavioral therapies. My niche, if you will, is children in middle school and high school as well as adults who have outgrown other services, no longer have services available to them, or have never received services. I also serve my students’ parents and others involved in their children’s lives to help them connect and communicate in a way that provides more joy and fun as well as enhances their child’s abilities and success. My website, (www. lindaboverman.com) can give you a more in-depth look at my philosophy and therapy practice as well as highlights workshops I give, an e-book on connecting and communicating with learning challenged children, and over two dozen blogs aimed at helping parents. Here you will see that my experience working with learning challenged and ADHD students informs all of my work. On my professional Facebook page (Linda Boverman, M.A., SLP), you will find quotes and tips that are meant to encourage parents. I use my skills as a language and communication specialist to help children improve their social communication, social thinking®, cognitive reasoning and executive functioning. I work for parents as a guide to navigate the complexities of raising a learning challenged child. My services include assessment and treatment of children and adults with: - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), including but not limited to PDD-NOS, Asperger’s Syndrom, NLD - Undiagnosed social communication and social language challenges - Receptive and expressive language processing disorders - Auditory processing disorders - Written language delays - Cognitive language and reasoning delays - Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) - Learning Disabilities & Social Anxiety

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